He Passes By and Says, “Live”

Check out this video-Aborted Baby Miraculously Lives

“And as for your birth, on the day you were born your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to cleanse you, nor rubbed with salt, nor wrapped in swaddling cloths. No eye pitied you, to do any of these things to you out of compassion for you, but you were cast out on the open field, for you were abhorred, on the day that you were born. “And when I passed by you and saw you wallowing in your blood, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ I made you flourish like a plant of the field. And you grew up and became tall and arrived at full adornment.” (Ezekiel 16:4–7, ESV)

I recently watched the posted video. It was emotional for me, because it was such a powerful testament to life being a precious gift. It reminded me of these verses in Ezekiel. Left for dead and unwanted, God sees our “inherent worth” and intervenes on our behalf. He passes by and says “Live”.
Against all odds, against all reason, in spite of human effort, God sees value in us and gives us life. Each one of us has been discarded by someone. Each of us has been unwanted and unloved by someone that should have loved us. Our stories may not be as dramatic as this baby living through torture in her own mother’s womb, but we have all been discarded. God saw our need and intervened.
Praise the Holy One who gave life. “Thus it is written, “The first man Adam became a living being”; the last Adam became a life-giving spirit.” (1 Corinthians 15:45, ESV) Praise God for Jesus and his gift of eternal life. Without him, there would be no hope.
Thanks be to God who didn’t see us as an inconvenience. God knew that we would act inappropriately. He knew we would have problems and messes that he would have to solve. He had already planned to send Jesus to give us life. We were not considered an inconvenience, but something of immense worth. We were worth the sacrifice of his son.
All glory to the Almighty who can sustain us when all else is against us. “By You, I have been sustained from my birth; You are He who took me from my mother’s womb; My praise is continually of You. I have become a marvel to many, For You are my strong refuge. My mouth is filled with Your praise And with Your glory all day long.” (Psalm 71:6–8, NASB95)
Melissa, the woman in this video is a marvel to many. It is a miracle that she survived. As God sustains us and saves us from the attacks of our enemies, we become a marvel to many. It is a miracle that we survive. We can do nothing less than praise God and glorify him for his salvation and his gift of everlasting life.

Rightly Determining Value

broken, but certainly not trash

broken, but certainly not trash

How do we determine our value? In previous lessons, we have discussed the world’s distorted view of what is valuable. Have we succumbed to the world’s convoluted ideas on what is valuable? Do we judge ourselves based on an arbitrary standard that has been set by society? It is easy to do.
Although it is hard to understand our value, we must be worth something, God loves us. Knowing that I am loved by the Almighty Creator is staggering. Knowing that he values me is almost unbelievable. I had to figure out why I questioned my value. What had I learned that needed relearning?
I had unwittingly succumbed to the lies of this world. My self-esteem was based on performance. I had learned that if I did well, I received love (or at least affirmation and affection). As long as I had a solid reputation for my good life, everything seemed to be wonderful. This lie was eventually exposed. When my hard work, brought shattered dreams, failure, pain and brokenness, my self-worth plummeted and rightfully so.
If my worth is based on my performance, then I will never measure up. I will never be the smartest, the most talented, the friendliest, the best, the most righteous, etc. On the other hand if my value is based on my rarity and uniqueness, an intrinsic value and worth given to me by the Creator, then I am precious and beloved
“Jesus didn’t say, ‘Blessed are those who care for the poor.’ He said, ‘Blessed are we where we are poor, where we are broken.’ It is there that God loves us deeply and pulls us into deeper communion with himself” (Henri Nouwen). In God’s value system my brokenness isn’t a problem, it is part of my uniqueness. It doesn’t deter him from loving me.
Since I am forgiven, my sin and my brokenness no longer inhibit a loving relationship with my Abba, Father. “Our courteous Lord does not want his servants to despair because they fall often and grievously; for our falling does not hinder him in loving us” (Julian of Norwich). If Christ loved me so much that while I was still a sinner, he died for me, of course he loves me now that I am in his family. In this fact, I find my value.
The world says that we find our value in what we do. The Bible says that Jesus determined our value. “This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins” (1 John 4:9–10, NIV).
I cannot understand it, but I am so valuable that God Almighty died to redeem me. He bought me when I had been discarded as trash. I cannot comprehend what value he sees, but I am in no position to argue with God. I am broken, but not trash.

Happy Thanksgiving

Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever! (Psalm 118:1 ESV)

Happy Thanksgiving! Today I am truly thankful because God is good. I am thankful because God’s love is steadfast and endures forever. I am thankful because I know these things from years of experience and a personal relationship with the Lord. I know this verse is truth.
On Sunday, I heard my son quote this verse. It brought back memories from 25 years ago when I first helped him learn this verse. It was one of the first verses he memorized in AWANA. He was 5 years old and in Sparks. He learned this verse quickly and easily, and he obviously still remembers it.
A couple of years later, I helped his brother memorize this verse. A couple of years after that my daughter learned it too. In my 17 years as an AWANA leader, I helped many children learn this verse. I taught it to them because I believe it. And I never forget it. I remember it too! We should give thanks. God is good.
Thinking back over the last 25 years since my son learned that verse, I am amazed at God’s love. I am blown away at how steadfast and consistent his love has been. I have gone through many tragedies and victories in that time. I have made friends and lost friends. I have lost family and been there when new life came into the world. Life has ups and downs, but there is one thing you can always count on. “God is good, and his steadfast love endures forever.”
Today I am thankful for the AWANA program and all that we learned through it. I am thankful for the opportunity to serve God. I am thankful for my family, especially my children. My heart is full of gratitude to God for the life he has given me, with the ups and downs. I am most thankful for God’s goodness and steadfast love.

Directing My Heart to the Love of God

“God loves you unconditionally, as you are and not as you should be, because nobody is as they should be.”
Brennan Manning

Like everyone else on the planet, I went through an extremely difficult time of brokenness. During this time period, I struggled with my concept of self-value and whether I was loved. It didn’t help that some of the people around me used phrases that were detrimental to my mental well being. Comments like, “You need to get over this, or you’ll be of no use to anyone”, and “You’re a mess”. I knew I was a mess so I had trouble believing that I could be loved or of any value. I even doubted God’s ability to love me. Of course, this was a testimony to my lack of faith, not a commentary on God’s faithfulness. In my despair, I sought help from God’s people. The counsel I received and the further study that I pursued led me first to a deeper faith and trust in God’s love. Later I began to realize I had value.
I made it through this time with the love and compassion of some wonderful friends, my family, and wisdom from God’s people. The Lord sent an empathetic pastor who said he couldn’t make things better, but he knew that I was loved. Pastor Charles shared about his own personal struggles and what God had taught him. He reassured me with the fact that I was loved.
I discovered that I was suffering from what the ancients called, “The Dark Night of the Soul”. I felt that God was unhappy with me, so he had pulled away from me. In actuality, he was never nearer. He was teaching me that my brokenness was a beneficial thing, and an excellent opportunity for his glory to shine. He drew me close and let me know that I am loved.
Abba’s Child, by Brennan Manning. taught me more about the love of God. I bought the book because the blurb on the back cover started with these words, “Many Christians have bought into the lie that we are worthy of God’s love only when our lives are going well.” I felt that I was being rejected and devalued by my Christian community because of this lie. The book reassured me that God’s view of me was different from the prevailing views. One of my favorite quotes from the book is, “God will use your brokenness to bless many people”.
I had hope because I am loved. “May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ”
(2 Thessalonians 3:5 ESV). I came back to the basics of my faith. “Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.” I was still struggling with value though. “Renewing of the mind” was going to take some time. I’ll discuss this in the next blog.

*For more information on The Dark Night of the Soul, see John Coe’s “MUSINGS ON THE DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL: INSIGHTS FROM ST. JOHN OF THE CROSS ON A DEVELOPMENTAL SPIRITUALITY
Coe, J. H. n. page. http://goo.gl/rhPXFC

Called to be Single? Jesus Was!

“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:32–35 ESV)

Many Christians are single. They are looking for the right person, that special one that God has for them. Some singles are looking to fill a void that was left by someone else. They may be widowed or divorced. Some have never been married. They look forward to the companionship that a life partner brings. They desire to grow old with someone. I can’t blame them. How satisfying it would be to have a live in friend, companion, co-worker, and lover. I have spent many years dreaming of this too!
Isn’t it odd? Paul says, stay unmarried, so you can be free from anxiety. Do you want to have less stress? Stay single! In this way, your focus will be on God and his kingdom rather than on another’s interests. Wait! When you try to integrate two individual lives into one cohesive life, there’s worry, stress and divided interests? Yes! So of course, there will be difficulties!
The fairy tales and romance movies don’t often show the hard work and time it takes to make a relationship work. They don’t often illustrate the difficulty involved in meshing lives. They never show the struggle of balancing spiritual and earthly responsibilities. It can be extremely difficult to serve God and keep up with the demands of a family. It is easy to see how it divides your loyalties.
I think that is why Jesus was not married. He came to earth to do a job for the kingdom of God. It required focus and undivided attention. His travels and early death would have been difficult for a family. Looking back, it seems best that Jesus didn’t have a wife and children. I am sure it wasn’t easy though.
He was in a body of flesh. I am sure that he, like all of us, felt a need for human touch and tenderness. He saw cute couples holding hands. He went to weddings and celebrated with couples who had found companionship and love. He ate in happy homes. He loved children. And yet, Jesus chose to remain single and focus on the purposes that God had for him. He is an example of what Paul was explaining to the Corinthians.
All people are not called to be single. Paul addresses that in the next few verses. But for those that are single, it is an opportunity to serve God unentangled by many of the world’s cares and worries. It frees us to serve God with abandonment. It is a chance to know Jesus better. It may only be for a season of life, but it should be an occasion to celebrate as we allow God to be the lover of our soul.

Not Perfect, but Faithful and Trusting

We have regrettably brought the idea of perfection into our churches. We have invited God to help us attain a perfect life. It seems odd that the life we envision is more like the American Dream than like the life the Bible speaks about. The life of the Bible, in which we are required to count the costs, take up our cross, or consider persecution blessed opportunity. We sometimes think the Christian life is God helping us attain the American Dream. We work hard to serve God and walk in obedience believing that we will avoid suffering. When our perfect life doesn’t materialize, we start to think that God is not concerned about us, or worse, that he is angry with us.
When I suffered from a less than perfect life, my first response was to try to be better for God. Although I did question whether God cared, I knew the Bible, and of course God cared. There was too much evidence. So I decided I had let God down, and if I just work harder, then he would give me the American Dream Christian Life. I actually believed that if I had learned the lessons God had tried to teach me, then I could have avoided the pain and brokenness.
These ideas were not what I intellectually espoused; I knew that the Scripture said that we would suffer in our service of Jesus. “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you” (1 Peter 4:12). I understood that people could sin against us. “Many have become my enemies without cause; those who hate me without reason are numerous” (Psalm 38:19). I knew that people all across the world were martyred for the cause of Christ and yet they trusted God. “The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies” (Psalm 118:6–7). Somehow I still allowed the influence of my culture to affect my attitudes, and believed that my life was going to be “perfect”.
When the myth was exposed, I had a choice. I could believe God’s Word, or I could live in disappointment and despair. God said to the hurting, fearful, and despairing, do not be afraid for I am with you always. I was the hurting, fearful and despairing. I had to accept the fact that I was broken and know in my head and heart that God didn’t expect perfection. He expected faith and trust.
“Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him” (Psalm 37:3–7).

Broken, But God Loves Me With Unfailing Love

The countercultural view of brokenness that Christianity teaches was not easy for me to accept. I grew up believing in the American Dream. Work hard and have the perfect life. My view was distorted. It had taken my focus off of God’s unfailing love.I had allowed the world to speak to my soul and feed me lies.
I realized that our culture preaches and teaches perfectionism. Although everyone knows that perfection is impossible, we are all being persuaded to strive toward that goal. This unattainable objective is pushed on us constantly. The daily encouragement from the media is, “you deserve perfection”. Online dating sites encourage us to find “the perfect mate”. Commercials for face cleansers talk about the “perfect complexion”. We can have the perfect kitchen if we use the right home improvement store. And all of this will lead to a perfect life if we attain it all!
By contrast, sitcoms make fun of people who are different or imperfect. Bullying is a growing issue. Hate crimes against people we consider damaged are sadly becoming commonplace. To our shame, we have so devalued imperfect people that our society encourages the abortion of babies that in any way do not meet up to our flawless expectations. We forget that God knew exactly who he was creating. We as a society have standards of perfection that no one can attain to. It is an illusion because everyone is broken.
The world’s view has serious ramifications. By preaching perfection and disdaining brokenness we have encouraged broken people to hide. They put on a mask and pretend that all is well. This saves them from the embarrassment of not measuring up and the pain of admitting they are damaged. As they suffer, they feel more and more devalued. They know they are broken, and wonder what significance they have in this life.
I know because I was one of the broken people. When serious brokenness came into my life, I felt worthless. I could not see how I could be a part of God’s glorious work in our world. It seemed that I had outlived my usefulness. The pain was unbearable. But God continued to love me and reveal Himself to me.
In time, I understood what the Psalmist said in Psalm 31. “I am forgotten as though I were dead; I have become like broken pottery. For I hear many whispering, “Terror on every side!” They conspire against me and plot to take my life. But I trust in you, LORD; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in your hands; deliver me from the hands of my enemies, from those who pursue me. Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love” (vs. 12-16). I was saved by his unfailing love. I am broken, but not trash, God loves me with unfailing love.

Brokeness that is Clearly Evident

There was no question about my brokenness. It was clearly evident. Since there was no hiding it, I thought it was ok to admit it. I was wrong. It made people extremely uncomfortable. Inside and outside of the church, I encountered angry people.
I was assailed with false allegations and accusations. People that had known me and I had assumed, loved me for years believed the worst about me. When I admitted that I was a Christian who was struggling, sad, and hurting beyond description, I was not supported, comforted, or loved as I thought I would be.
Thankfully, my God, the Author of Truth, knew what was going on, and he spoke truth into my life. He sent a lovely friend who took me to the library to find books that would encourage and support me. My son’s pastor taught a lesson that turned my wrong thinking around. Through the books and the pastor, I found Mending the Soul Ministries. They understood. The people at Mending the Soul knew God could recycle me, and they helped me to believe it.
God’s power was at work in me and for me. He wasn’t embarrassed by my brokenness. He understood and provided a small community of believers that also understood. The compassion of Christ was shown to me by my small group. They held the broken pieces of my life close to their hearts as God took each piece and refitted it for his purposes. My closest friends and my close family prayed and did the practical simple tasks that, in my brokenness, I couldn’t complete.
This all amazed me. Why did I encounter such diverse reactions to the same circumstances? Again I had question what people were thinking, and what I was thinking. In our society, there is an intolerance for imperfection. People don’t like to admit weakness. But Christianity is countercultural. We praise God for brokenness. God’s glory shines as he works through brokenness.
This is how the Apostle Paul put it; “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9–10 NIV).
God had not left me at the mercy of the cynics. He provided sufficient grace. For Christ’s sake, for the glory of God, he showed himself strong when I was weak and broken.

Even My Thinking Was Broken

I was excited that I had trusted Jesus as my Savior. I wanted to live for him. I was young, but I understood that it was important to walk in obedience. We sang songs like “Trust and obey” and “Living For Jesus”. But there was a problem. I misunderstood the implications of living for Jesus. Somehow, I thought that he gave me a new chance, that would be like a do over. I thought I had the opportunity to live right, and that would prevent suffering and brokenness.
My ideas were to be proven wrong over and over again, but it took a long time for me to admit that my thinking was wrong. I thought that God had saved me to keep me from being broken again. I believed that if I studied the Bible, prayed faithfully, and lived as obediently as possible I could prevent further brokenness. I thought all of the pain, struggle, and sin that I suffered from was my inability to stick with God’s plan. If I just worked harder at learning the lessons God had for me, I thought I could prevent suffering and brokenness. So I worked hard at living for Jesus.
It seemed to go pretty well for a while. My life appeared ideal from the outside. I lived in a beautiful place, in a nice home. I had three beautiful, bright children that were well behaved and loved Jesus. I attended a nice church and had good friends. I lived close to my supportive family. I was involved in ministries that were reaching people with God’s love. My husband worked hard to provide for us. We went on wonderful vacations.
For the most part, I felt blessed. There were issues though. Neglect, anger, and verbal abuse were part of my life too. Although I tried hard to see the bright side and look at the good, these issues wore on my soul and spirit. I thought that if I could pray more, serve more, study more, then the pain in my soul would go away. I was upset with myself for not overcoming in the face of adversity. My constant thought was, “I need to trust God more”.
I spent a long time in a vicious cycle. I tried to be “more”, then I would feel guilty that it wasn’t enough. God had redeemed my sorry soul from the pit of hell. He bought me and made me into a new creation. I had been recycled to give glory to God, but I was getting broken again.
Then my year of unbearable tragedy hit. I stopped striving to protect myself from brokenness because it was an impossible task. That year my brokenness turned into depression. I felt like I was too big of an emotional wreck to bring glory to God. One question plagued my mind. Could God ever use me again?
During this time of severe brokenness, I learned that the Christian life I was trying to live was an ideal I made up, not the life that God expected. I wasn’t letting him down. When I started studying brokenness, I found the truth. God made it clear that he understands our brokenness and continues to love us.
He worked through the Apostle Paul who said, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” (Romans 7:15 NIV). He also understands that the sin of others can break us. David was loved by God and part of God’s eternal plan. He suffered great emotional anguish over the sins of some close to him. “My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death have fallen on me. Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me…If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were rising against me, I could hide. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend” (Psalm 55:4-5,12-13 NIV).
And of course, Jesus glorified God with his life and he was broken, “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5 NIV).
During my healing process, I learned many things, but one lesson stood out and changed my view of the Christian life. God didn’t save me to live a life free from pain, suffering or brokenness. God saved me to glorify him. I realized that all of the great saints of history who had glorified God, suffered some kind of brokenness. I think God can use me.