“The words of the Son of God, who has eyes like a flame of fire, and whose feet are like burnished bronze. “ ‘I know your works, your love and faith and service and patient endurance, and that your latter works exceed the first. But I have this against you, that you tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess and is teaching and seducing my servants to practice sexual immorality and to eat food sacrificed to idols.’” (Revelation 2:18–20, ESV)

Two-year-olds are self-centered. They have a difficult time thinking of others needs. They also try very hard to demand their own way. It is not uncommon for them to follow a parental directive with “no!” Mine is a favorite word. It is often amusing and frustrating to watch their tactics for getting attention. All in all, they think the world revolves around them.

Wise parents teach them that they have to be kind and share. They teach them delayed gratification. With supernatural perseverance, the parents train children to say yes to what is good and healthy, including obeying the parents often unexplained directives. From this wise parenting, children learn the power of ours instead of “mine”. They learn to give attention and in return attention is reciprocated. They learn that the world is immense, and all that exists is not about them.

A loving parent wants a child to grow to be healthy and happy. So they teach them that they must “Deny themselves.” They teach them to make healthy and wise choices rather than self-indulgent ones. No one wants a 21 year old to continue acting like a two-year-old, throwing fits whenever he or she doesn’t get their way. They will not function in society, in church, nor in their family if they do not learn to give up their self-indulgent behavior. Neither will they be happy with themselves.

We have established that indulgence and immediate happiness does not lead to long-term health and contentment, so we train our two-year-olds. We make them brush their teeth because it is good long term not because it is fun now. We make them eat their dinner before they eat dessert, so they are getting the nutrition they need. As good parents, we teach a two year old to share with others. We teach them to be kind. We teach them to take turns. We teach them to deny themselves for the common good.

We also teach them delayed gratification. We will go to the park later after we pick up our toys. We will have the chocolate after lunch. Learning to control their impulses is necessary to them growing into healthy people.

I said all of this to remind us about the necessary work and self-denial (and parental denial) that leads to maturity. It needs to be said because we see much immaturity in Christianity today. There are many overindulged and lazy Christians who are acting like two-year-olds and demanding their way.

The rules of a healthy household, a healthy family are found in the Bible. It isn’t hard to figure out what God wants. The Bible teaches love, gentleness, understanding and acceptance. But it also teaches that there are times to say “NO.” It is unloving for mature Christians to stand by and tolerate sinful behavior in a less mature believer. Loving them often means saying, “Thou shalt not …” We need to teach denying yourself, taking up your cross and perseverance in the face of adversity. We need to lead others into maturity.

Thought I would write this as a reminder that sometimes tolerance is unloving, and it displeases God!