My interest in the Scriptural view of brokenness began after I went through a series of tragedies, because those tragedies broke me. The circumstances of life were hard, but the sin and relationship issues were the most devastating. I am sure that most readers will relate to some of my troubles as we all suffer from difficulties that leave us broken.
It would take volumes to describe all that happened, but I will recount some of the events here. My 23 year old son was diagnosed with brain cancer. My dysfunctional and abusive marriage ended with a flood of information about hidden sin issues that left me feeling betrayed and rejected. My niece, who was only 23 years old, died from an addictive lifestyle. Our family home that my parents had owned for more than 30 years caught on fire and had to be torn down. My sister betrayed me, causing significant pain and difficulty for me and my children. I was forced to sell my home, but unable to get a new place. I had to live with friends and family for a time, not knowing where I would end up. And then through the grapevine, I learned that our family dog had died. It was a tough year.
The heartbreaks I suffered were extremely difficult. I felt broken. I wasn’t functioning spiritually, mentally, emotionally, or physically. I knew that I was a mess, but I wasn’t even sure where to start getting help. I knew I couldn’t do it alone, and many wonderful people stepped up to help me. But that wasn’t enough.
I needed to know how God felt and how he dealt with brokenness. I was felt like I was such a mess that I probably wouldn’t be much help in building God’s Kingdom. I thought that my years of contributing to the ministry of God were probably over. It seemed to me that I was too big of a mess to be of much use to Jesus.
I decided to do a study on brokenness. I started by looking up the word broken in the dictionary. Maybe broken wasn’t even the right word to describe what I was going through. So I got out the dictionary, and it confirmed my fears. I was definitely broken. Here are the definitions that applied to me.
• 1. Forcibly separated into two or more pieces; fractured: a broken arm
• 2. Sundered by divorce, separation, or desertion of a parent or parents: children from broken homes
• 3. Having been violated
• 4. a. Incomplete
• b. Being in a state of disarray; disordered
• 5. a. Intermittently stopping and starting; discontinuous
• 7. a. Subdued totally; humbled
• b. Weakened and infirm
• 8. Crushed by grief
• 9. Financially ruined
• 10. Not functioning; out of order
This was the beginning of my study. I knew I needed to find out what God had to say on this subject. This study would have to be based on the Bible. The lessons would need to include universal truths. For this effort to help me, it would have to apply to my personal experience. And finally, if what I learned was truth, it would bring glory to God.
The study that follows is what I learned as God lead me on a healing journey through the Scriptures. It is how I learned that I was broken, but I was not trash.