“O LORD, who shall sojourn in your tent? Who shall dwell on your holy hill? He who walks blamelessly and does what is right and speaks truth in his heart;” (Psalm 15:1–2, ESV)

I attended a spiritual formation conference this weekend. The speaker encouraged us, to be honest. He asked us to do some exercises that encouraged us to admit our true feelings to God. He encouraged us to speak the truth in our heart.

We were instructed to take time to pray honestly about something that upsets us. The instructions reminded us that God already knows what we truly think so we should not be embarrassed or afraid to tell him. Our task was to be honest about our upset, anger, fear, or frustration. We were to share our true feelings with God.

I was nervous. I was in an abusive relationship in the past. I was not allowed to share feelings. I was only allowed to mirror his feelings. If I had feelings that differed from his, I was wrong. I didn’t realize how this earthly relationship had affected my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I was scared to share my anger and upset with God.

As I started to pray, God reminded me of an event from my past that totally set my mind at ease. Many years ago, when my daughter Jessica was young, she got mad at me. She was complaining to my oldest son when I walked in on the conversation. She didn’t see me and I stood there listening. Her little heart was overflowing with anger and upset at that moment. She could not contain her exasperation and frustration. It just spilled out.

When she finally realized I was standing right there, she broke down crying. She immediately told me she was sorry. Rather than being upset, I felt bad for her. Compassion flooded my heart. I was not enraged by her disrespect. I understood her frustration and her need to vent. I also understood her embarrassment at being caught in the act of complaining. I just held her while she cried. I felt such deep love for her that my only desire was to comfort and console her, not to reprimand her.

If I had that much compassion and love in my heart for my daughter, how much compassion and love does God have for me? His capacity for kindness is so much greater than mine. God is definitely good enough to love me through my anger and frustration. I can be honest with God!

I am no longer afraid to share my anger with my Abba, Father. I am not embarrassed to let him see my frustration. In fact, I just want to turn around and let him hold me while I cry. I want to let it all out and then enter into that time of comfort and consolation that comes afterward. I want to vent and then relax when I am reassured that I am still loved.

Today, I realize that I can be honest about what is in my heart, and the Father will love me just the same.