How do we determine our value? In previous lessons, we have discussed the world’s distorted view of what is valuable. Have we succumbed to the world’s convoluted ideas on what is valuable? Do we judge ourselves based on an arbitrary standard that has been set by society? It is easy to do.
Although it is hard to understand our value, we must be worth something, God loves us. Knowing that I am loved by the Almighty Creator is staggering. Knowing that he values me is almost unbelievable. I had to figure out why I questioned my value. What had I learned that needed relearning?
I had unwittingly succumbed to the lies of this world. My self-esteem was based on performance. I had learned that if I did well, I received love (or at least affirmation and affection). As long as I had a solid reputation for my good life, everything seemed to be wonderful. This lie was eventually exposed. When my hard work, brought shattered dreams, failure, pain and brokenness, my self-worth plummeted and rightfully so.
If my worth is based on my performance, then I will never measure up. I will never be the smartest, the most talented, the friendliest, the best, the most righteous, etc. On the other hand if my value is based on my rarity and uniqueness, an intrinsic value and worth given to me by the Creator, then I am precious and beloved
“Jesus didn’t say, ‘Blessed are those who care for the poor.’ He said, ‘Blessed are we where we are poor, where we are broken.’ It is there that God loves us deeply and pulls us into deeper communion with himself” (Henri Nouwen). In God’s value system my brokenness isn’t a problem, it is part of my uniqueness. It doesn’t deter him from loving me.
Since I am forgiven, my sin and my brokenness no longer inhibit a loving relationship with my Abba, Father. “Our courteous Lord does not want his servants to despair because they fall often and grievously; for our falling does not hinder him in loving us” (Julian of Norwich). If Christ loved me so much that while I was still a sinner, he died for me, of course he loves me now that I am in his family. In this fact, I find my value.
The world says that we find our value in what we do. The Bible says that Jesus determined our value. “This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins” (1 John 4:9–10, NIV).
I cannot understand it, but I am so valuable that God Almighty died to redeem me. He bought me when I had been discarded as trash. I cannot comprehend what value he sees, but I am in no position to argue with God. I am broken, but not trash.

We have regrettably brought the idea of perfection into our churches. We have invited God to help us attain a perfect life. It seems odd that the life we envision is more like the American Dream than like the life the Bible speaks about. The life of the Bible, in which we are required to count the costs, take up our cross, or consider persecution blessed opportunity. We sometimes think the Christian life is God helping us attain the American Dream. We work hard to serve God and walk in obedience believing that we will avoid suffering. When our perfect life doesn’t materialize, we start to think that God is not concerned about us, or worse, that he is angry with us.
When I suffered from a less than perfect life, my first response was to try to be better for God. Although I did question whether God cared, I knew the Bible, and of course God cared. There was too much evidence. So I decided I had let God down, and if I just work harder, then he would give me the American Dream Christian Life. I actually believed that if I had learned the lessons God had tried to teach me, then I could have avoided the pain and brokenness.
These ideas were not what I intellectually espoused; I knew that the Scripture said that we would suffer in our service of Jesus. “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you” (1 Peter 4:12). I understood that people could sin against us. “Many have become my enemies without cause; those who hate me without reason are numerous” (Psalm 38:19). I knew that people all across the world were martyred for the cause of Christ and yet they trusted God. “The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies” (Psalm 118:6–7). Somehow I still allowed the influence of my culture to affect my attitudes, and believed that my life was going to be “perfect”.
When the myth was exposed, I had a choice. I could believe God’s Word, or I could live in disappointment and despair. God said to the hurting, fearful, and despairing, do not be afraid for I am with you always. I was the hurting, fearful and despairing. I had to accept the fact that I was broken and know in my head and heart that God didn’t expect perfection. He expected faith and trust.
“Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him” (Psalm 37:3–7).

There was no question about my brokenness. It was clearly evident. Since there was no hiding it, I thought it was ok to admit it. I was wrong. It made people extremely uncomfortable. Inside and outside of the church, I encountered angry people.
I was assailed with false allegations and accusations. People that had known me and I had assumed, loved me for years believed the worst about me. When I admitted that I was a Christian who was struggling, sad, and hurting beyond description, I was not supported, comforted, or loved as I thought I would be.
Thankfully, my God, the Author of Truth, knew what was going on, and he spoke truth into my life. He sent a lovely friend who took me to the library to find books that would encourage and support me. My son’s pastor taught a lesson that turned my wrong thinking around. Through the books and the pastor, I found Mending the Soul Ministries. They understood. The people at Mending the Soul knew God could recycle me, and they helped me to believe it.
God’s power was at work in me and for me. He wasn’t embarrassed by my brokenness. He understood and provided a small community of believers that also understood. The compassion of Christ was shown to me by my small group. They held the broken pieces of my life close to their hearts as God took each piece and refitted it for his purposes. My closest friends and my close family prayed and did the practical simple tasks that, in my brokenness, I couldn’t complete.
This all amazed me. Why did I encounter such diverse reactions to the same circumstances? Again I had question what people were thinking, and what I was thinking. In our society, there is an intolerance for imperfection. People don’t like to admit weakness. But Christianity is countercultural. We praise God for brokenness. God’s glory shines as he works through brokenness.
This is how the Apostle Paul put it; “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9–10 NIV).
God had not left me at the mercy of the cynics. He provided sufficient grace. For Christ’s sake, for the glory of God, he showed himself strong when I was weak and broken.

My interest in the Scriptural view of brokenness began after I went through a series of tragedies, because those tragedies broke me. The circumstances of life were hard, but the sin and relationship issues were the most devastating. I am sure that most readers will relate to some of my troubles as we all suffer from difficulties that leave us broken.
It would take volumes to describe all that happened, but I will recount some of the events here. My 23 year old son was diagnosed with brain cancer. My dysfunctional and abusive marriage ended with a flood of information about hidden sin issues that left me feeling betrayed and rejected. My niece, who was only 23 years old, died from an addictive lifestyle. Our family home that my parents had owned for more than 30 years caught on fire and had to be torn down. My sister betrayed me, causing significant pain and difficulty for me and my children. I was forced to sell my home, but unable to get a new place. I had to live with friends and family for a time, not knowing where I would end up. And then through the grapevine, I learned that our family dog had died. It was a tough year.
The heartbreaks I suffered were extremely difficult. I felt broken. I wasn’t functioning spiritually, mentally, emotionally, or physically. I knew that I was a mess, but I wasn’t even sure where to start getting help. I knew I couldn’t do it alone, and many wonderful people stepped up to help me. But that wasn’t enough.
I needed to know how God felt and how he dealt with brokenness. I was felt like I was such a mess that I probably wouldn’t be much help in building God’s Kingdom. I thought that my years of contributing to the ministry of God were probably over. It seemed to me that I was too big of a mess to be of much use to Jesus.
I decided to do a study on brokenness. I started by looking up the word broken in the dictionary. Maybe broken wasn’t even the right word to describe what I was going through. So I got out the dictionary, and it confirmed my fears. I was definitely broken. Here are the definitions that applied to me.
• 1. Forcibly separated into two or more pieces; fractured: a broken arm
• 2. Sundered by divorce, separation, or desertion of a parent or parents: children from broken homes
• 3. Having been violated
• 4. a. Incomplete
• b. Being in a state of disarray; disordered
• 5. a. Intermittently stopping and starting; discontinuous
• 7. a. Subdued totally; humbled
• b. Weakened and infirm
• 8. Crushed by grief
• 9. Financially ruined
• 10. Not functioning; out of order
This was the beginning of my study. I knew I needed to find out what God had to say on this subject. This study would have to be based on the Bible. The lessons would need to include universal truths. For this effort to help me, it would have to apply to my personal experience. And finally, if what I learned was truth, it would bring glory to God.
The study that follows is what I learned as God lead me on a healing journey through the Scriptures. It is how I learned that I was broken, but I was not trash.

This is a reprint of a blog I wrote in 2009. It was written after a series of tragedies changed my life. This blog was God’s reminder to me that I needed to move on. It didn’t matter that I had been broken and beat up by the storm. God had a place for me. He loved me and still wanted me to work with Him. Out of this realization, I wrote a series of lessons called “Broken But Not Trash: How God Recycles People”. This will be my new blog series. Please join me as I revisit the valuable lessons God used to heal me from the damage caused by the storms of life.

“My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death assail me. Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me. I said, “Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest— I would flee far away and stay in the desert; Selah I would hurry to my place of shelter, far from the tempest and storm.”” (Psalm 55:4-8)

There have been times in my life when I have been in anguish. I have felt that the storms of life were flooding my soul, and I was going to drown. Actually this happens to everyone. My problem was that I often chose (maybe by default) to stay in the middle of the horror that was overwhelming me. Through Biblical study, prayer and the insight of other believers, I have learned that I am often beset by fear and trembling because I am making stupid choices.
The fact is everyone encounters at last one shipwreck from the storms of life, most people more than one. It shouldn’t surprise us when it happens. It surprised me. I was caught totally off guard.
I found myself travelling along unaware of how the storm was growing. I was feeling a little seasick. I knew the waves were growing and becoming powerful. I didn’t worry too much. I was trusting in the ship that I thought was strong enough to carry me. I was oblivious to the pending disaster.
The storm grew out of control. There was nothing I could do. To my amazement, all of my thoughts and plans for my trip were about to be destroyed. “Quick! Sheri, do something”, I thought. I tried to bubble gum the hull together. I tied the sail onto the mast with cheap thread. All was to no avail. The ship in which I had travelled and put my confidence was broken and destroyed.
It is already apparent that I had made a few errors. For starters, I shouldn’t have had confidence in anything other than God. I also shouldn’t have wasted my time on childish attempts to fix the ship. I should have been learning how to swim! The bad moves didn’t stop there, and it becomes even more pathetic.
I was soon soaking wet, sinking into the raging seas. My first instinct was to grab a hold of the wreckage. I pulled some junk together so I could stay afloat. I held tenaciously to the debris believing I would die if I let go. Ok, that isn’t such a terrible idea initially, but if I continue to hang on instead of seeking and planning for safety, I will eventually grow weak and tired. The opportunity for sinking into spiritual oblivion increases with each passing moment.
I couldn’t bring myself to let go. I was holding tightly to pieces of garbage because I still recognized them. In my hypothermic and shocked state I saw the trash as what it had once been, and not for what it had become. I didn’t want to let go of the familiar.
The distance to safety was very small. A beautiful island with warm sand where I could dry off was close at hand. Sustenance and comfort had been provided by the Creator God. A new world that may even become my paradise was right there. It was a short swim away.
I would have to let go of the old junk. I would have to count it loss. I would have to quit looking back and go forward to the place, and life God had prepared for me. It would be much different, but I wouldn’t drown in the sea of despair. I would have a chance to live a life of beauty, purpose and significance for the Lord.
It took me a while to realize that an unknown island, created and prepared by a Loving Father, was preferable to drowning with the wreckage that the storms of life had caused. I still feared the unknown but knew the unknown was preferable to sinking in hopelessness. Mustering my remaining strength, I let go and swam to shore.
Just reaching the shore brought a sense of excitement and new hope. I knew I would not drown. The brightness of the Son started to dry out my soggy soul. I started to enjoy a sense of adventure. New opportunities were before me. The scary disaster was behind me. And the Lord of Life was walking with me.
This new life beyond the storm is not easy. A lot of hard work is required. Inhabiting a new island is slow going. Building new structures and daily harvesting much needed food for my soul requires diligence. I am also finding pieces of the old life scattered along the shore. Many of them are useful in my new life as I learn to adapt them and fit them in. I still sometimes grieve the losses.
The initial hard work will eventually pay off in great abundance. I will eventually settle into this new place. When that happens, I will find more time to explore, enjoy, and take it easy. For now, the hard work is joyful work because I know that God saved me, and he saved me for a purpose.

Lord of all Creation, I thank you for saving me from the storms of life. I thank you for putting my feet once again on a firm land. I was in spiritual anguish. “When neither sun nor stars appeared for many days, and no small tempest lay on me, all hope of my being saved was at last abandoned” (Acts 27:20). But you, O Lord, were gracious and kind to me. I called to you, and you saved me (Psalm 55:16). Because you are God and you constantly show yourself to be faithful, I will trust in you (Psalm 55:23).
I will wake up excited, ready to enjoy the adventure of a new day. I will discover your love today. I will encounter your faithfulness as I enjoy the blessings you have given to me.
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”” (Lamentations 3:22-24). My hope is unquestionably in you. Without your strength and safety, I am lost in anguish, overwhelmed with horror, and will be consumed by the swirling storms of life. I only have hope because of you and in you. Keep me by your power.