This week I realized how easy it is to hurt someone else without even realizing it. I learned this lesson while spending time with my grandchildren. My granddaughter, Greta was sitting on the floor playing. Her brother, Cohen, who is only 7 months old, was sitting on his mom’s lap nearby. He reached out and grabbed Greta’s hair. He pulled hard, and, of course, Greta screamed.

My daughter-in-law Kelly handled the situation beautifully. Greta was soothed, Cohen was moved out of reach and life went on. As I witnessed this situation, the Lord touched my heart. I realized that I am a little like Cohen. OK, maybe I am a lot like Cohen. In my immaturity, I do not mean to hurt people. I don’t even understand that what I am doing will hurt them. And still, others around me are left screaming in pain.

When I look back, it is easy to see situations where I have harmed others without understanding. There are times when people ask for help, but I am preoccupied. Without thinking, I give an abrupt, seemingly rude answer because I am just distracted without realizing how it appears to them. There are times when I am joking about a situation without considering my audience. I realize later that they may have been offended by my comments. I relate to Cohen and his lack of understanding. I still need to learn about what causes pain in others so I can be kind to them.

I also relate to Greta. Great needed to understand that Cohen really didn’t mean it. He acted out of ignorance not out of malice. That’s a hard lesson. It hurt whether he meant it or not. To be understanding when we are hurting is very difficult.

I hate it when someone causes me pain. I feel like screaming and sometimes I do scream. I get mad at the person who caused the pain. In that moment, I do not usually take the time to think through the situation. It is difficult to stop screaming and consider the other person’s maturity. But this is necessary if we are going to love one another. We will hurt each other. Often it is out of immaturity. Although the pain feels the same, understanding and patience needs to carry the day.

I also learned something by the way Kelly handled it. First, she made Cohen stop causing pain. She comforted Greta. Teaching and doctrine came after all parties were appropriately dealt with. It was important to get control and have the right behavior established before explaining to each person what they could learn from it.

It is not comforting for anyone to hear that the pain they are suffering from is not intended and a mistake. When someone is in pain, they just want it to stop. That is why it is important to do everything we can to help others alleviate the pain before we tell them to be understanding. Kelly did not just tell Greta to “be kind to your brother.” She didn’t just say, “he is young and doesn’t know what he is doing.” She first did everything in her power to alleviate the pain and then to comfort Greta.

If I am going to help others, I must learn to soothe and comfort. I must intervene and help to stop the pain. I must have a genuine concern for those that are suffering. I must love and console before I teach and train.

I learned all these lessons from one small situation. Imagine what I could learn if I paid better attention to the circumstances of my day!