Christianity has often been depicted as a religion of thou shalts and thou shalt nots. Many people do not want to hear about Jesus because they think being a follower of Christ means living a strict life full of rules.
Unbelievers do not understand that the Christian life is a relationship. We become the children of God by new birth. We are part of God’s family. Each one is unique and special and God interacts with us on an individual basis. Christianity isn’t a set of rules that we adopt, it is rather that we are adopted into a new family. It is a love relationship. “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.” (1 John 3:1, ESV)
When a child is adopted into a family, it takes a while for him to learn the families’ values and their standard of morality. There is teaching, training and years of loving invested before the child grows into a mature adult that lives an appropriate lifestyle.
The rules are a part of being in the family, but they aren’t the focal point. Some people get confused because we try to apply our family rules to those outside of the family. We can’t expect those who obey and serve a different father to care about our Father’s rules. When we make a big deal about the rules non-family members get the wrong impression about what’s important.
There is a better way to tell people about our family. We need to brag on our dad. We need to tell everyone, “God is Love.” “So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” (1 John 4:16, ESV) We have been adopted by the most loving Father and anyone can join the family. Yes, our family has rules, but the rules exist because the Father loves us and wants us to experience the best life possible. The rules are an expression of love.
Unbelievers do not understand this. So we need to stop expecting unbelievers to live by the rules of our family and expect that they will act like their father. We need to quit preaching our family’s morals and ethics to those outside the family. We need to preach, teach and demonstrate the love of Jesus. “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.” (1 John 4:7, ESV)
When we love one another, we display the character and nature of our family. People will see the appeal of belonging to the family of God. We can encourage them to join. They will find a place where they are loved and accepted.
Once they are adopted into the family, then the Father will lovingly conform them to the image of His Son. They will learn to obey. Rules are part of a loving relationship, but they aren’t the foundation for it.
If we want others to stop sinning and living like the devil, we need to help them join the family of God. We don’t do that when we condemn them for not acting like us. We do that by showing God’s love and encouraging them to join the family.